i don't know where that is

- "i'm from nowheresville. just south of smalltown, not far from port obscure".
- "riiiiight, so, where is that in relation to (insert major city here)?".
- "well, it's about an hour east of bordertown and just past randomville".
- "uhm, ya. i don't know where that is. where is it in relation to (insert major city here)?"
- *blank stare* *shock* *horror*

waiting. waiting. waiting.

- "well, it's not far from littleton"

i see this is getting nowhere. but this is exactly the type of conversation we've had on (numerous occasions) with australians when we ask where they're from. now, don't get me wrong, providing such detail is great, i guess, but as it turns out, i'm not from this state. heck, i'm not even from australia. but they seem to interpret my (obviously) canadian accent as a local dialect from the nearest township to theirs, thereby implying that i know where they mean.

it couldn't be more frustrating. and it's not helped by my lovely husband who (so polite and friendly) says "oh ya. really eh?" when he also has no freakin' clue where they mean! i have taken to just saying "i have no idea where that is" but all i tend to get is a look of disdain. how could i not?

here's the thing. i am also from a ridiculously large country. and as such, when people ask me where i'm from, the first thing i say is "canada", even if the person asking me has a north american accent. if they say that they're also from canada (or i am in canada to start with), i say "oh, well i'm from ontario". sometimes it stops there, because the person is from BC and has no idea about anything beyond the west coast. if not, i may continue on and say "well, it's near montreal and ottawa". if they say they're from ottawa too, then i may (hesitantly) say "oh, i'm from cornwall". they generally have never heard of it.

i would NEVER expect anyone to know where my hometown is. even if they are from an hour away, i will always point to the nearest big city then go from there. australians, for some reason, assume that everyone knows where everything is. how far is it from sydney? well, it's 4 hours east of randomtown.

i'd like to think that australians to understand the size of their country and then put together the fact that even australians wouldn't know where every random little village is (in relation to another little village at that). and, i would expect that they would understand moreso that if someone isn't speaking with an australian accent, the odds of them knowing anything about the location of anywhere in this country is completely absurd. but as it stands, they just assume you do.

when we ask the europeans we meet where they're from we get "germany" or such thing. pressed for more detail, they almost harrumph and give us a bit more detail (but snicker to themselves) and say (in german) "as if they would know. but we'll appease them anyhow". then we say "how close is that to the-only-major-city-we-know-in-your-country" or whatever, which they tell us. then we nod knowingly, thinking to ourselves that we have no freakin' clue where that is. but they didn't tell us the suburb, or hamlet, or lake they live on. nope. they wouldn't expect us to know such a thing. 2 hours north of berlin, well i might have an idea where that is i suppose.

as it is, i just find it funny. it keeps happening and i keep laughing at it all. and i keep saying (more boldly) that "i have no idea where that is". frankly, i would never tell someone i just met that i was from cornwall, just south of moose creek and west of long sault, not far from alexandria.

even though i could. because technically it's true.

xo