ice skating

yes. ice skating. i have a client who is a competitive figure skater in perth (actually, i have 2!). when she first told me, i struggled not to laugh. "figure skating? in perth? how did you ever get started in that?"

a few weeks ago there was a small competition being held at the ice arena (they always specify "ice" here. to me, it's just an arena. or a rink). my young client invited myself and a colleague along to watch.

on our drive the rink i realized just how bizarre it was to go watch a figure skating competition in perth. we slowly drove around trying to find this place. it's in a middle-of-nowhere industrial park. not one sign points to the rink (so australian!) until you're pretty much in front of it. we knew we were in the right place when we spotted a gaggle of girls in sparkly spandex standing out front, practicing jumps.

walking inside, i instantly felt at home. there's something about the smell of an arena that just takes me back to the good times at the Bob Turner or Water St. i eagerly anticipated my cheap hot chocolate from the machine and sitting under a small heater. alas, i was disappointed. first, they had a barrista-style coffee machine, with a hot chocolate running at 4.50$! (and not even having soy) pfffft. i'm at a hockey rink people! hot chocolate costs like 2 bucks. tops. and it's made with hot water. and tastes kind of nasty, but mostly nostalgic. 2nd strike- no heaters to be found. luckily they did have fries and gravy- not quite a poutine, but close enough.

claire and i settled in to watch the routines. naturally, our client was going last. right before the synchronized skaters... the what?! i had no idea you could be a synchro skater. we decided to stay and watch the disaster unfold.

i don't know what i was expecting really, but it was terrible! the skaters were amateur, of course. but they were generally awful. it was all we could do not to burst into laughter at times, but sitting with all the parents sort of made us think twice. also, we were sitting directly below the guy with the video camera. every single person fell. at least once. and not just an "oops, i tripped" fall. nope! a big ol' face-plant-missed-the-jump-landing-style fall. thankfully my client was actually good. though even she fell a few times. at least her jumps took her more then a few centimeters off the ground.

now, i know i'm being a bit arrogant, but as a canadian who's been on skates since age 3, i'm pretty sure i could have done better then some of the competitors if you'd give me a few weeks. and i don't even use figure skates. i had expected a slightly higher quality of competition, given that my client is the 2nd or 3rd ranked junior in the country. clearly, i was mistaken.

last, but certainly not least, the synchro skaters were up. we decided to stay only for one routine as it was getting late. there were about 20 girls on the ice, in the worst outfits i'd ever seen. they ranged in age and body size from teeny-tiny to significantly-large. whilst they warmed up and skated around the rink, one tripped (to be fair, she was 1/2 the size of the rest of her line) and bam! like dominoes. one after the other, they all fell down. i think 15 of them hit the deck. and i could barely hold in my giggles. i know, it's rude, but it was just too funny. they did their lackluster routine without too many hitches. but then again, they didn't do anything remotely challenging- no jumps, no lifts, no spins, nothing. just skating in a circle or 2. which actually looked like it was challenging enough for them.

we left when that routine finished and promptly burst into laughter in the car. it was an interesting event to witness in perth. i still have no idea how kids would get into figure skating here. i think we only have one rink in the whole city.

needless to say, i became very aware of why australia doesn't medal in figure skating at the olympics.

xo